ring your Red Hat
And your Old Woman smarts,
And come and have tea
With the Raspberry Tarts.

They're all "tarted up"
In their purple attire…
It's a look that's eccentric -
To which they aspire!

They say "Please" and "Thank You"
When they pass the scones,
But 'neath their chapeaux
These are feisty old Crones!

Don't act supercilious,
Say what you think,
Or they'll give you the razzberry
Quick as a wink!

The Old Dears sip their tea
With a crook'd little finger,
But you'll be surprised
If you listen and linger!

Pub songs and madrigals,
Tales that are naughty,
They cackle and giggle -
Then race for the potty!

If you've a quick wit
And you're not feint of heart
Then come and have tea
With the Raspberry Tarts!